Glowing Down The Aisle – Why am I doing this?
I remember the day I was finally tall enough (or really good at standing on my tippy toes) to get on the scariest ride at the amusement park; the Monster. The anticipation, the adrenaline rush and the excitement felt out of this world! However, in the midst of all of the enthusiasm, it was easy to forget the phase I liked to call the “waiting game”: you know, the part where you are standing in line, waiting for your turn as your palms get sweaty, your heart starts racing out of control and your stomach turns into knots? Yes, that one. The moment you ask yourself “why am I doing this?” It all seemed like a good idea until strapped into that seat, right?
Once the proposal dust settles and your mind starts over thinking the million possibilities of how to celebrate your big day, it can be hard at times to remember exactly why you are putting yourself through all this for what seems to only be ONE day. It can indeed feel exactly like a rollercoaster ride, with all the ups, all the downs, and all of the “in betweens.” Whether it is the highs of finding the perfect venue, the lows like the uncertainty of your dream team being available, or the anxiousness between all the emails and phone calls.
In the middle of it all, it’s easy to loose the essence and true value of what marriage means to you and your own intentions behind it. Whether it’s pressure you are putting on yourself (oh hello perfectionism) or an outside source of pressure, let’s be honest, it can be quite difficult to stay grounded and focused.
No matter how much noise, statistics, distractions, choices, and invoices are surrounding you during this time, for myself, the key in not loosing sight of my own motives around marriage has been to continuously go back to my “why” – the real and deep rooted reasons why I believe in it and why I am indeed doing all of this. My why has truly become my compass, my home, and my happy place where everything makes sense and I am completely at peace with every decision I make. Since everyone’s view of marriage is different and personal, for me, it has been crucial to not only focus on having a great wedding day but also uncovering the entire process and purpose.
After much reflection, I realized that marriage is important to me because longevity and partnerships are. Even though there are many ways of demonstrating life long commitment, to me saying “I do” means making a promise and taking a pledge to stick through it all, together. There is no greater way that I know to say, “I have your back and you have my word.” The gestures that take place on that day not only represent my own set of beliefs and values but are also a way of manifesting my conviction of putting my actions behind my words.
The adventure of marriage has already taught me the most beautiful and unexpected about my own self, my partner and my relationship. It’s as if it has unlocked a new realm and space within me and in my life that has not only challenged me and my growth as an individual, but has also enriched my existence in the most unpredictable ways. There is something uniquely magical when two souls choose to unite and share all of life’s special moments with one another, create memories to last a lifetime, and get on that sometimes scary yet exciting roller coaster ride of life together. To think of building an everlasting now and forever to look back on when we will both be wrinkled and grey motivates me to live my best life, be my best self and also be the best partner I could ever possibly be.
“Why I am doing this?” because to me, this choice is one I believe will continuously fulfill my life exponentially… and this is why August 31st 2019 is worth all of this fuss.